Style isn’t about following rules about colour, hemline or heel height, it is about wearing what you love with total confidence. Very few people are born with great style – instead most people work at it finding out what suits them along the way.

Haydn Gwynne, actor wearing Elizabeth Bessant couture mother of the bride outfit and accessories

The good news is that by the time you become a mother of bride or mother of groom you know what suits you. The challenge is that unless you attend special occasions often you won’t have developed a style suited to being a very special guest at your son or daughter’s wedding.

There are no rules stating you must leave your comfort zone, if you want to wear black or navy or beige you can add a pair of bright pink, yellow, orange or red shoes. These colours always look sophisticated but the splash of colour will lift your outfit and make it that bit different.

My advice is that you can’t go wrong with a pretty dress. Lace, satin, long or short it is time to dress up. However, if this is too far out of your comfort zone a jumpsuit in a beautiful fabric or a trouser suit is perfectly acceptable if that suits your personality.

Do spend time researching on the web – key in general search terms and find photos of the sort of outfit you think you would feel best in rather than searching stores online which can become quite deflating. Once you have decided a style and fabric then start to look at designers who produce ranges that fit with your vision. It is at this point that you may decide to opt for couture as it can be hard to fit your dream with reality.

Elizabeth Bessant couture trouser suit and hat for mother of the bride or mother of the groom

Rosie, mother of the bride wearing Elizabeth Bessant couture lace dress and silk linen jacket

A stylist or designer will advise you but beware don’t be pushed too far out of your comfort zone – sense check each stage by asking yourself if you love the designs and fabric you are being shown. A good designer will not mind working with you – however long it takes!

Hat or no hat – there are some that say the mother of the bride or groom must wear a hat but if you have your hair styled professionally there really is no need. Instead add a touch of interest with a fresh or silk flower corsage worn around your wrist.

I am happy to give advice on dressing for a wedding or special occasion, free of charge with no obligation. If you would like any help please email me at [email protected]