9 tips for choosing Bridesmaids - and what you can expect | Elizabeth Bessant

9 tips for choosing Bridesmaids – and what you can expect

Choosing bridesmaids can lead to hurt feelings and disappointment for those not on your list and misunderstandings about who is paying for what among those who will accompany you down the aisle. As a designer of bridal couture, I tend to get close to my brides during fittings and consequently I have a lot of experience of advising on these matters.

Amy’s bridesmaids wearing Elizabeth Bessant couture blush bridesmaid dresses with applique and hand beaded belts

1. If you are having a small weddings (up to 50 people) 2 to 4 bridesmaids is the norm. These will usually be sisters and/or one or two close friends. There is no rule that says you must include your groom’s sister – although it would make your future mother in law very happy.

2. Larger weddings of 150 plus guests often mean more bridesmaids – anything from 5 to 10. Your groom might then choose the same number of groomsmen (or ushers) as bridesmaids, which gives symmetry.

3. Do think hard before asking someone to be your bridesmaid – one difficult person will upset the whole group. Think about what you need from them both in the run up and on your big day – and be very clear from the outset who is paying for what.

Elizabeth Bessant couture mint and lilac chiffon bridesmaid dress with chiffon cap

Sophie wearing Elizabeth Bessant couture cerise chiffon bridesmaid dress with handmade flower sash

4. Duties beforehand and on the wedding day include: helping with the planning; taking charge of bouquets; and coordinating fittings or shopping for dresses.

5. One of your bridesmaids will be the chief bridesmaid (or matron of honor if she is married). The chief bridesmaid is in charge of planning the hen – tradition demands all the bridesmaids should split the cost for you between them.

6. If you are asking your bridesmaids to wear dresses in a style and colour that you have chosen you will be expected to pay. If you can’t afford to do that you must be prepared to have a variety of looks although you can specify the colour. However there are many different shades of a colour so this could be risky. Shoes and accessories also tend to follow the same rule if you are specifying a particular shoe you will probably be expected to pay.

8. Bridesmaids bouquets are another expense – and another reason to control numbers if you are on a tight budget.

9. If you are having your bridesmaids dresses made allow time for fittings. I require 3 to 4 fittings depending on the style. Be warned that getting them all to these fittings can be challenging and another demand on their time although it’s a lovely treat.