I have been designing couture outfits for over 20 years and often have a mother of the bride or mother of the groom come back to see me for an outfit for their second child’s wedding… Often the first wedding outfit is easier because most people have a favourite colour that suits their complexion and a style in mind that is within their comfort zone. But when your next child marries, there are harder choices to be made: do you invest in a new outfit or can you get away with wearing the same – albeit lovely – outfit twice?

There are no rules stating you cannot wear part or all of the same outfit if it still fits and suits you – but it is important to ask your son or daughter how they feel. My experience is that sons are practical and not overly concerned about what their mother wears to their wedding. Whereas daughters can be more emotional and might be disappointed if you don’t choose a new outfit for their special day – understandably they want everything to be perfect.

Then there are the photos and the risk of comments from guests that attend both weddings – things like ‘I’m sure I remember that outfit, haven’t I seen it before?’ – a polite way of letting you know you haven’t got away with it…

When Diana came to see me she had a rather unusual problem: her twin son and daughter were both getting married in the same year. I came up with the idea of part of the outfit being unique to each child’s event – and part doubling up to represent twins. This helped the budget in what was a very costly year and was a clever way to present her outfit to her son and daughter without making one feel more important than the other.

Mother of the Bride outfit by Elizabeth Bessant couture

Mother of the Groom outfit by Elizabeth Bessant couture

I made her a blue silk shift dress that she could wear to both weddings with a matching silk jacket for her son’s overseas wedding; and a brocade coat for her daughter’s church wedding in Surrey. To complete the look, I made her a fascinator for the overseas event and a hat for the church wedding. The outfits looked completely different for the photographs because under the coat most of the dress was covered. Both outfits were in shades of blue that suited Diana so well and best of all she pleased both her children – and saved money.

Mother of the Bride hat by Elizabeth Bessant couture

Mother of the Groom fascinator by Elizabeth Bessant couture

When I design a mother of the bride or mother of the groom outfit, I always discuss future wear when choosing fabrics and styles. I don’t believe in investing in a beautiful couture outfit and then only wearing it once. One thing I do insist on though is that your child’s wedding should be the first time the outfit is worn. There are two reasons for this: firstly, impact will be lost if your guests have seen you wearing it before; but more importantly accidents happen – a red wine or grease stain is hard to remove!

Clutch bag by Elizabeth Bessant couture

One of my mother of the bride clients contacted me recently to let me know what a success her outfit had been and how she had since worn it to three more weddings. You may think I wouldn’t want to hear this, but I believe that if you pay more for something special, you should be able to enjoy wearing it again and again. So many of the outfits I create are worn to Ascot races after first being worn to a wedding – and it makes me very happy to know that the hard work I put into every outfit is being appreciated once more.