Who pays for the bridesmaids’ dresses?
After the cost of the wedding dress and mother of the bride outfit, the most asked question about finance I get is: ‘Who pays for the bridesmaids’ dresses?’ Traditionally, the bride’s parents paid this bill but wedding etiquette has changed so much and now it is down to each bride to make decisions that hopefully suit everyone.
The cost of bridesmaids dresses has become significant with four, five or six bridesmaids the norm. But sometimes the numbers go into double figures: one of my current brides is having 20 adult bridesmaids plus little flower girls.
The reason for this is that many brides choose to marry later, having completed university, travelled and embarked on a career. This simply widens the choice of bridesmaids: friends from school, university and work plus sisters and often cousins too. How do you choose without causing disappointment when they all excitedly volunteer their services without giving a thought to the expense.
And it is a conundrum… I have made bridesmaids’ dresses that have been paid for by the bride, her parents, a divorced parent who felt uninvolved – and on one occasion the bride’s godmother – there does not seem to be any formula. Sometimes it is the bridesmaids themselves who pay…With the rising costs of weddings and setting up home, some brides are asking their bridesmaids to pay part or all the cost of their dresses.
That is fine as long as you are prepared to be flexible. For example, you may prefer them all to wear a navy dress in a certain style but it’s unreasonable to expect all your bridesmaids to pay for dresses in matching styles or shades of navy. If they are paying they will be thinking of where else they can wear the dress.
Most bridesmaids are happy to pay for their shoes but let them choose the style that suits them – but in your chosen colour or range of tones. One style of dress won’t work for all bridesmaids, and the same style of shoe won’t work for everyone either.
My advice would be to think through what you can afford before allocating bridesmaids. And if you are going to ask your bridesmaids to pay, let them know straight away and explain that you will not be upset if they say ‘No’ as they are still going to be a big part of your special day.
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