Hat or no hat – for mother of the bride or mother of the groom?
Traditional church weddings tend to be formal and the etiquette is that you wear a hat or fascinator. But now that weddings often take place in less formal settings, the question of whether to wear some form of headgear when your son or daughter gets married is not so clear cut.
I believe that as the mother of the bride or groom, you have a clear role in the celebrations and that a hat or fascinator will complete your look – especially when it comes to the photos.
However informal a wedding, most photographers – unless otherwise instructed – will snap the traditional group photos of the bride and groom with their parents. But exercise restraint, your role is to complement not upstage the bride so avoid show stopping creations…a hat or fascinator does not have to be large to create impact.
I often get asked what works best for a one-venue wedding where both service and celebrations are being held in a hotel or country house.
My advice would be to wear a cocktail hat – this is a small brimless hat embellished with beads or feathers and like a fascinator it is held in place with a band, comb or clip. You can confidently wear a cocktail hat all day and it will not affect your hair should you want to take it off later in the evening.
The bride and mother of the bride will set the dress code for the wedding and the mother of the groom should follow the mother of the bride’s lead when it comes to wearing a hat – or not…Guests will often ask if hats are required and again this will be the bride’s decision.
Choosing a hat or fascinator to suit your features and hair style is quite an art because wearing a hat is no longer part of our everyday wardrobe.
My top tips are that you choose a style to suit the shape of your face:
Round face – almost any style of hat or fascinator including big brimmed hats will suit you.
Small face – a half hat covering part of the head will look great. These are close fitting and worn at an angle over the right side of the head.
Or a disc hat on a band works for a relaxed wedding with a soft dress especially if you are not wearing a jacket.
Long face – a wider brimmed hat or a cocktail hat worn on the forehead works well.
Broad shoulders – a wide brimmed hat will balance wide shoulders and will also help balance wide hips. Wide brimmed hats work better in a contrasting colour to your outfit.
Part of your roll as mother of the bride is meeting, greeting and kissing guests so if you are wearing a hat choose one with a shallow brim and position it at an east to west angle – that’s up at the left and down over the right ear.
If you don’t want to splash out too much on something you will only wear once, hiring a hat is an option. This will give you the chance to wear a more expensive designer hat without busting your budget.
And finally – think about your hair which also needs to look it’s best. Bear in mind that wearing a hat will flatten your hair, so add volume to your style and use stronger than usual setting products so you can be sure your style will last all day.
The most important thing is that you feel comfortable wearing your choice of hat or fascinator – and that it gives you added confidence and style.
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